Missing the People from Your Past

 everything is great but life gets messy, every little thing feels like so much work. after going home for the weekend, I stayed two more nights, every night id tell myself " I'm too tired to go back to the apartment tonight but I definitely will tomorrow night.

I fell inspirationless to write, nothing is coming to my mind, typing feels so slow, everything takes so much time, I think I'm just gonna go to sleep.

I know I shouldn't but sometimes I feel like I miss being with Leshem. not him just the feeling when I'm with him, I feel seen and admired, when I am with him, I feel like I am enough, a feeling I'm not used to feeling. like I don't have to hide parts of who I am. I'm allowed to be weird and mess up. I don't have feeling for him, he is a person I love spending time with. I enjoy the warmth of his skin and his loving company. I wish I could spend more time with him.

 I know that there will be so many people in my future and there where so many people in my past. I know I will meet and say goodbye to a lot of people. that I will find a lot of people who respect me and make me feel like I'm enough. I know that when I start believing that I am enough I will attract people to my life who will see it too.

And though this knowledge, I want to be in his arms right now.